I’ve been unwell for quite a long time. Which is boring. For you to hear about (possibly!) and for me to live with (definitely!)
A series of relentless, revoltingly traumatic events seems to have sparked it all. This resulted in PTSD alongside my usual peaky COPD/depression/anxiety sitch and now some other things chronic-illness type things under investigation.
Where this leaves me is having very quiet days, seeking the support of family more than ever, reading and writing a lot more (as well as studying) to try to feel like I am managing some creative output.
Just a little bit of background so that you can get an idea of why I am no longer going on long walks, having my usual full-time ‘proper’ job, doing events, etc etc.
Life changes you and just when you think you know where you are, it changes again. Don’t you think?
I know I am not the only one in this situation, so if your health is not the best (and even if your health IS the best) much love to you. It’s hard, during the pandemic, both ways.
Now on with today’s FAR more outdoorsy instalment!
Today is the opposite of yesterday. The garden is sunny and seems full of promise. Where yesterday it felt gloomy and dormant, today it smells fragrant and feels like it’s timing a big, beautiful reveal.
There were ants scurrying about today. They were very interested in my morning tea and were quite miffed when I swept my mug from their tiny clutches.
Over the back fence someone was rattling about. When I peeked over from behind the cubby I could see a man in grey overalls hacking at an equally grey tree. Dry firewood is expensive and hard to find around here, so honestly I did not blame him. I think he’s the neighbour-from-two-doors up. An older grey-haired man. I saw him out the front earlier, waiting for the postman. Or perhaps he was taking in the view. I can’t really be sure which.
After the neighbour-spying I sat on a concrete retaining wall which I shall from hereon in call ‘The Perch’ and plotted my next move.
The Perch (below)
coffee + ant (above)
ant + no coffee (below)
Yesterday I promised to start with the sticks so I decided to drag up a big plastic tub we bought from the tip shop and pile the sticks in there. I figure if I can collect up a bunch I’m not only clearing some space for future plants, but also gathering kindling for the fire. Kindling is also expensive to buy and why would you if your backyard is carpeted with it?
Pick-me-up pick-up sticks …
I kept my eye out for potential insect hotel pieces and will be sure to hang onto those. (Good tip, dear reader!)
Honestly, just this small bunch of sticks wore the heck out of me. I am feeling like a total weakling so I stopped when I’d had enough/felt dizzy/etc/etc.
There’s a big empty spot beside the raised garden beds (the ones with only onions in them because the possums ate the rest.) I’m thinking I could make another long, skinny bed there. Only at ground level. It’s beside The Perch, so I’d have to leave a little alcove so I can duck in there and sit amongst the potential plants. I have some old compost I can scatter there, to make a start. And some pea straw and cardboard. I’m practically onto it, aren’t I?! Perhaps.
I’m still not sure what to do about the possums though. I am still thinking/researching that. Do you think a decoy possum feasting spot could help? With fruit and things for them? Honestly, I have no clue and this sort of tricky operation appeals. I am guessing it would not work?
Here are some other bits of the garden. As you can see they are a bit of a rugged and wonky jumble. But one with a lot of potential, amiright?!
I’m going to take my Nan’s old garden furniture up under the big tree next to the vegetable beds tomorrow. If I can manage it. Or get one of the boys to help. That’s a better idea.
I’ve been reading snippets of two books when I wake up each morning and they are really brilliant. I like to start the day with books that helps shake up my thoughts. Musings, ideas or essays, you know? Rather than a straight story.
The first is Weather by Jenny Offill.
The other one is Life, Love and the Archers by Wendy Cope.
They are helping me to take a holiday from my usual thoughts and adding a dose of delight to the day.
Is anything bringing you delight today, dear reader?
Write soon,
x pip
Read my main blog - Meet Me At Mike’s.
Read my other pop-up blog - Something Good Every Day.
I like your perch, just don't let the ants bite your bum (am I allowed to say bum here?)
I pick up the twigs that fall from the trees lining our driveway everyday, haven't had to buy kindling in years and it only takes me a few minutes. In summer I just pile them under one of the trees and collect them when it's fire time again. I actually really enjoy the little ritual of it now.
I'm so glad that you have family nearby to love you and support you in this time of ill health, it can be so bolstering in times of chronic ill health. I hope you will be well enough in the future to take your walks again.
cheers kate
Oh your backyard has so much potential. How lovely to have space to sit in the sun and plot your next moves. Step by step, bit by bit. I learned a phrase from a podcast recently “Rest IS Action”. It’s changed the way I thin about needing to rest. 😘